Live Vibrantly - March 19, 2025

How to Help a Loved One Choose Assisted Living

By Amanda Ranowsky

Helping our loved ones as they age presents both opportunities and challenges. When we start noticing that they might need additional support, we often find it challenging to convince them that assisted living could improve their quality of life. The thought of losing independence, having to move from a beloved home or simply the fear of getting older can all make someone hesitant to accept that they need help.

Overcoming these hesitations takes time and patient conversation. Goodwin Living Sales Counselor Adrienne Wyman and Goodwin House Alexandria Director of Social Work Monica Hutchins-Thomas share their advice for navigating the delicate conversations to help a loved one choose assisted living.

Recognizing When It’s Time for Assisted Living

Assisted living offers numerous benefits that help older adults thrive while easing the load on family caregivers. So how do you decide when the time is right to consider assisted living?

For both older adults and their loved ones, the signs can be difficult to accept. And those closest to them might not be the first to notice. Sometimes, a medical professional, neighbor, housekeeper or someone else in their life might be the first to take note of these changes.

As Director of Social Work at Goodwin House Alexandria (GHA), Monica works with residents and their families when it’s time to transition to a different level of care. “I’m often the one reaching out to the family,” she said.

Some key signs Monica looks out for include the following:

• Cognitive changes – Is your loved one forgetting appointments, struggling with daily routines or needing increased reminders for basic tasks?
• Functional decline – Is your loved one having difficulty with bathing, dressing or moving around the home safely?
• Health management challenges – Has your loved one developed complex medical conditions that require frequent monitoring or assistance with medications?
• Social withdrawal – Has your loved one started to avoid activities, meals or interactions that once brought them joy?
• Household neglect – Does your loved one suddenly have an unkempt home, unpaid bills, spoiled food in the refrigerator or other signs that indicate they are having difficulty managing daily responsibilities?

When you recognize the signs, acceptance of the new reality may not happen immediately. “Once we notice the changes, coming to full terms with them might take time,“ said Monica. “It is usually a process of moving toward acceptance.”

What is Assisted Living?

As a sales counselor working with older adults who are considering a Goodwin Living community as their future residence, Adrienne hears firsthand the concerns that lead people to consider assisted living. “Many older adults worry about how much time their children or loved ones spend taking care of them,” said Adrienne who, “Parents don’t want to be a burden to their children.”

Although there is often a strong desire not to burden their families, misconceptions about the true nature of assisted living may be one of the first stumbling blocks families hit as they begin a conversation with their loved one. It can be helpful to begin by clarifying what assisted living truly entails.

Assisted living is intended for those who need a low-to-moderate level of assistance with managing their day-to-day. As a level of living that is regulated by health authorities, Assisted Living technically is when an adult needs assistance with two or more activities of daily living. It provides personal care, such as assistance with bathing and dressing, as well as offering housekeeping, laundry and meal services. Someone in assisted living may need help managing their medications, but not continuous monitoring.

In contrast, nursing care – which is often what people first think of when they hear “assisted living” – is for those who need 24/7 medical supervision and care. Someone who requires nursing care usually needs greater help with activities of daily living, including transferring from a bed into a wheelchair. Though many people in nursing care can still engage in a variety of activities, they tend to need more help and accommodation than someone in assisted living.

The Many Benefits of Assisted Living

Once you’ve clarified the definition of assisted living, you can start to discuss the many opportunities and benefits that await those who make the decision to move to assisted living.

Adrienne and Monica recommend you start by acknowledging your loved one’s concerns. Leaving one’s home is hard, and fear of change is natural. “Help them focus on what they will gain rather than what they are leaving behind,” said Adrienne.

Some of the biggest benefits your loved ones can look forward to in assisted living include:

• Convenience and accessibility – Dining, activities and support services are located close by, reducing the need to navigate long distances.
• Social engagement – Opportunities for intellectual stimulation, physical activity and creative pursuits help combat loneliness and depression.
• Safety and peace of mind – “Families feel better knowing their loved one is cared for 24/7,” said Adrienne. “They no longer have to worry about what happens if Dad’s power goes out in the middle of the night, or if Mom falls and can’t get up.”
• Freedom from home maintenance – No more stress over home repairs, housekeeping or managing appointments.

Finally, reassure them that they will retain their independence. “People fear that they will give up some personal freedoms by moving to assisted living,” said Adrienne. “However, once they move, they often end up feeling like they have more freedom than they did before. They no longer have to rely on family or friends to engage in social activities. Assisted living often means more freedom, not less, as everything they need is right at their fingertips.”

Assisted Living the Goodwin Living Way

Helping a parent or loved one transition to assisted living is never easy, though with the right approach you can help them see how this change can enhance their life in meaningful ways. And at Goodwin Living, they do more than just move into a new residence — they’ll become part of a welcoming, supportive community.

“All residents at Goodwin Living, regardless of whether they are in independent living, assisted living or nursing care, enjoy access to all activities and dining venues on their campus,” said Monica. “This is especially important for independent living residents who transition to assisted living—they can continue the friendships they developed in independent living and continue with many of the same activities they enjoyed before.”

“There’s plenty to do and many resources available all without leaving ‘home’!” said Adrienne. “They could take a line dancing class, attend a lecture, play cards, get a manicure, go to water aerobics. Everything they need—dining, salon, activities—is all within easy reach.”

Deciding the time is right to move to assisted living is significant, so coming to that decision can present challenges. By recognizing the signs, understanding the benefits and approaching the conversation with patience and empathy, you can help your loved one see how assisted living can enhance their quality of life. With the right approach, this transition can be a positive step toward a more fulfilling and worry-free future.

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As Marketing & Communications Specialist, Amanda Ranowsky partners with colleagues throughout Goodwin Living to tell our stories and raise brand awareness. From printed collateral to digital marketing, Amanda covers many bases. Before joining GHI, Amanda worked for a small, family-owned business where she gained experience in content marketing. Amanda’s creative expression extends beyond the office. She is an active member of community theater and chorus groups.